lost of words

been raining every morning for the past few days.
except for that particular day, rained throughout the day till evening,
road was exceptionally wet & slippery.
stayed in wondering & having that intense agitation without any reason.
is it coz of the black triple expresso? dark chocolate? bad weather?
no answer to it.

till next day, it was raining as it is to be expected but stopped in the afternoon.
upon reaching back to my apartment block's open air carpark,
noticed a freshly set up tent, a funeral wake.
cleaning up the dried up mud stained on the exhaust pipe,
came a guy, through his eyes, there were grief, sworrow, sadness & helpless.
he asked, with a bitter smile. :" do u know the gal who ride a bike staying around here?"
i smiled & replied yes with curiousity.
"she's no longer around" he said.
"you know about the AYE accident last evening?" he asked.
"well...thats her funeral wake."
"ride safely" a word of advise from him.
i stumbled for a moment, stared blankly at him didn't know how to react.
should i say thanks? should i say sorry for the lost of that gal?
i was just completely lost of words.
he turned away & walked towards the tent looking down as if his shoulders weighs a ton.
i didn't know how i should feel. god, pls help.

should i be feeling sad?
departing from this world is a relieve. should i feel happy for her?
but she died from such tradegy! how heartless am i if i should be happy for her.
for the past few days, i've been walking pass the wake, it was just so uncomfortable.
it was a feeling of contradiction, confused & helpless.
can't help but thinking of the fact that i've seen her in the carpark, an exchange of smile & hi a few days ago & now facing her funeral wake in the area near the carpark.
i truely cannot comprehen how human feelin works.